Tell Me How
by gayporwave
Summary: Six has a weird day. (Originally written for psychomachia, for Chocolate Box.)


It's been nearly two months since Luis has stepped foot on the Strip, and Luis is exhausted; he wants nothing more than to have a quick bath and curl up on his surprisingly comfortable mattress. Luckily for him, he's arrived at night and he can make a beeline for the Lucky 38 before anyone can interrupt him.

What he doesn't expect is to be immediately greeted by Victor's smiling cowboy face.

"Howdy pardner!" Victor addresses him, standing between him and the doors of the Lucky 38. "Nice to see you back in our neck of the woods."

Though they don't talk much, Luis likes Victor; he's infinitely grateful to him for digging him out of the ground at Goodsprings, even if it was really just under House's direction.

"Hey Victor, nice to see you again," he smiles goodnaturedly at his friend. "Is there something going on?"

"Yep, the boss wants to see ya," Victor confirms, and Luis clearly must look confused because Victor lowers his voice to an imitation of a whisper and leans his large metallic body toward him. "Now I'm not supposed to say nothing but he's got a surprise for you, real hush-hush business."

"A surprise," he repeats back unsure if he heard Victor right.

As far as Luis knew, Mr. House didn't do surprises. He's always been forthcoming in their relationship thus far. It's what Luis likes the most about the man, his blunt honesty - next is his wit and sense of humor. Not that he'd admit it to anyone.

Victor wheels himself away from the door and quickly gestures for Luis to go in. "Mhmm, now go ahead on up. The boss is waiting for ya."

He's unsure of what to expect when he rides up the elevator.

At least everything seems normal when he steps into the Penthouse proper. He can see Marilyn and Jane hovering about in their usual spots, and gives the two of them a wave when he passes by. Strangely, the two of them harumph at him as he passes.

Weird.

House's monitor is blank except for the "connection lost" text written across it, but after a few seconds his face materializes into view.

"Ah, my most valued employee. I see you've returned to us in one piece, it's been quite some time has it not?"

"Almost two months, yeah," Luis responds, rubbing the back of his neck. He hadn't expected to be gone for so long.

Luis has an embarrassingly intense need to impress House whenever possible, one that refuses to die out no matter how hard he tries to quash it. Just add being hopefully attracted to a man who only exists on a computer screen to the list of weird shit in his life. It could go right under the fact that he's not sure if he technically counts as human anymore.

"One month, three weeks, and a day to be exact," House corrects him matter-of-factly. "I trust whatever business needed taking care of has been finished, yes?"

"Yeah."

He's pretty sure House doesn't need all the boring details of his trip back east to NCR territory. Luis considers himself _extremely_ lucky that the NCR doesn't consider him persona non-grata or worse. Unfortunately though, staying in their good graces involves a tedious amount of negotiation on his part.

"Good. As I'm sure Victor's informed you, I do indeed have a surprise waiting for you. If you could wait a moment." House says, his face blinking out on the monitor before Luis can get a word in.

He stares at the screen in confusion.

"Behold," says a voice from behind him and Luis whips his head around, immediately freezing in place once he saw its source. Standing there above him on the balcony is House himself, in person, exactly as he looked in that picture Luis remembers seeing in Dr. 0's house in Higgs' Village.

He's speechless.

"Oh come, don't look so surprised," House shakes his head, descending the steps down to Luis slowly. Luis can't help but notice the confidence in his stride and way he carries himself.

Still shocked, he tries and fails to formulate a coherent sentence. "I...how...what?" Luis manages to blurt out, immediately cringing at how stupid he must sound.

House holds up a hand to stop him from speaking, "Please, save your questions. I'll answer them in due time if you'll follow me. The two of us have a reservation to the Gourmand, and it wouldn't do for us to be late."

Luis raises an eyebrow. He looks down at his current outfit, armor entirely unsuitable for somewhere like the Gourmand. "Should I get changed?"

"Just come as you are, I'm sure Marjorie can make an exception for one night."

Unsurprisingly, the Gourmand is empty.

Or, to be exact, emptier than usual. House probably made the White Gloves shoo away what little patronage they had for some privacy between the two of them.

It's actually kind of nice, all things considered. He only feels somewhat nervous sitting across from Mr. House, waiting patiently for him to finish ordering. Their waiter keeps shooting the two of them strange looks, probably stunned to see him and Mr. House in a place like the Gourmand.

Compared to House, Luis feels absolutely underdressed. Even though his armor is actually clean for once it doesn't look nearly as nice as the well-pressed suit House has on.

The two of them both order a brahmin Wellington, and Luis watches House eat once the waiter arrives with their food. He's somewhat fascinated by the sight of House eating, watching him chew and savor the first bite.

He still can't quite believe it. House is here and sitting before him doing something as mundane as eating. He looks immaculate as he eats, a white cloth napkin tucked into his shirt while he methodically cuts the brahmin Wellington on his plate into more bite sized portions.

Luis had been attracted to House when he was just a voice and a face on a screen. Something about his intelligence and personality sucked him in. The absurdity of the situations feels like he's in some crazy wet dream his desperate brain has cooked up.

He watches House dab at the corner of his mouth with the napkin tucked into his shirt and hears him clear his throat, "Forgive me, it's been quite some time since I've experienced the sensation of food. I'd forgotten just how much I missed it. Seems I was quite right with my initial assessment of the Gourmand, though I can't say brahmin will ever live up to the taste of beef."

Luis keeps staring.

"I suppose I should start from the beginning," House takes another bite of his food. "After the... _fiasco_ with Benny I realized that even with your services, being forced to rely on outside parties was not a viable path in the long run. Inhabiting a synthetic body would allow me a greater amount of freedom and control of New Vegas."

"But _how_?" Luis asks.

"The scientists at Big Mountain of course," House says as if it should be obvious. "I knew the Think Tank's scientists fairly well before the War, though I wasn't aware of their survival before you reported back from your visit. I must say they're quite different now, to say the least. Though funnily enough Dr. Jonas still harbors the same resentment after all this time," he chuckles.

"Dr. Jonas?" The thought that Mr. House might have known the Think Tank before the War hadn't crossed his mind, but it makes sense once he thinks about it. "Do you mean Dr. 0?"

"Yes. Though none of them seem to be capable of recognizing their actual names, nor the fact that we had met before, with the exception of Dr. Jonas. I can only assume the biogel has degraded their brains," House takes another bite of his food, making a noise that Luis can only describe as somewhat orgasmic.

God, kill him now.

Luis shakes his head thinking back on what poor Dr. Mobius had confessed to him, "Not exactly, but it's kind of a long story. I'm not really sure if I'm up to telling it right now, to be honest."

House looks at him strangely, but ultimately just shrugs, "Another time then. Now what was I saying...ah yes, the Think Tank."

"Funnily enough, you inadvertently gave me the idea. When you described the Tesla coils the Think Tank installed in your head, I began to wonder. If you could remotely control your body with your brain removed from your skull, then perhaps it would be possible to control a synthetic body from the Lucky 38."

"But how did you get a body? When I was first in the Big Mt. the Think Tanks planned on inhabiting the lobotomite bodies to escape. I didn't know they had artificial bodies lying around," he says, somewhat concerned. The Think Tanks already promised they wouldn't leave, but he still didn't trust them to keep their word.

"Ah." House puts down his fork, straightens the napkin at his neck and looks Luis directly in the eyes. "Here's where I must admit I've been keeping you in the dark."

"Oh?" Luis feels as if he should be slightly concerned but somehow he's not. He trusts House, if he's been keeping secrets from him then it must be for a good reason. At least hopes so.

House begins to explain, "Some time ago, before you left on your trip, I was contacted by my former alma mater. Apparently, they've been very busy since the War."

"...Alma mater?" Luis asks. He's pretty sure it's Latin, or well, it sounds like something Arcade might say

"The college I attended in my youth, CIT." House explains, shooting him a look for interrupting him. Luis shrinks in his seat.

Luis has no idea what CIT stands for, and he's not really sure if he even knows what a college is. He thinks he vaguely remembers Arcade mentioning it was a place of learning, after he asked what a high school was.

So he takes a bite out of his own food and nods. The food's good, even better now that he can be sure he's not secretly eating human flesh.

Fucking White Gloves.

"As I was saying," House continues on. "It turns out my alma mater is no longer just a simple college. Instead it's become a bastion of technology and invention, what I believe is the largest cache of pre-War technology in the wasteland, aside from the Brotherhood of Steel."

House nearly spits out the Brotherhood's name, not bothering to hide his disdain. Luis still isn't sure exactly why House hates the Brotherhood as much as he does, but he tries not to press the issue.

"So they're the ones who gave you this body?" Luis makes a guess.

"Indeed. They're called synths, machines that are absolutely fascinating in nature. Completely indistinguishable from a human, aside from the fact that they can never grow old."

Luis takes it in stride; it's definitely not the weirdest thing he's heard of. His time in the Big Mt. has desensitized him to whatever the wasteland throws at him. "How come they didn't make contact with you sooner?"

"The old management was quite reclusive, or so I'm told. Though I've yet to figure out how exactly they became aware of my existence. Or, if I should have cause to be concerned," he muses.

"Maybe?" Luis frowns, he's worried about the potential ramifications already. Another potential problem on his hands.

"I spoke with their leader for quite some time, she's a rather fascinating woman. She reminds me of you in some respects," he says casually. "She offered some of their technology in exchange for an alliance of sorts."

"An alliance?"

"Yes, I found the arrangement satisfactory and agreed to it."

"What did she want in return?"

"Securitrons, caps, information, and one other thing."

"Another thing?" Luis asks almost afraid of the answer.

"I offered them access to the Big Mt. Under certain conditions, of course," House says casually, as if he hasn't dropped a bombshell in the middle of conversation.

"Access...to the Big Mt..." Luis says weakly. He's already imagining the terrible, horrible things the Think Tank could get up to given more technology.

House rolls his eyes and Luis, damn him, finds it attractive, in spite of how unhappy he is with the man in front of him. "I'm not an idiot Luis, I'm well aware of the dangers the Think Tank pose after what you've told me. It's why I've left you in charge of managing the Institute's work with the Think Tank. I trust you and I expect the same in return."

"Oh."

Okay, much better. It's not ideal but he's dealt with Caesar's Legion, the Brotherhood of Steel, the Think Tank, Ulysses, the NCR, and all of the other messes the Wasteland's shoved his way.

What's the worst that can happen?

"Oh, indeed," House says dryly in response. He pushes his empty plate away from him, finished with his meal. "Mm, now that that business is over. What about you, Luis? I've been the center of our conversation long enough."

Something about the way House carries himself, the atmosphere of the restaurant, and the sheer intimacy of the situation pings something in his brain.

"Wait, is this...a date?" he asks tentatively, afraid of offending House. If he's wrong - if he's somehow horribly misinterpreted the situation - he's immediately going to slink back into the Lucky 38 and smother himself with his own pillow.

House raises an eyebrow incredulously, "I thought it was obvious."

 _Okay_ , _wow_ , Luis thinks stunned into silence. He wonders if maybe this entire thing is actually a dream after all.

"I wasn't lying when I said a human body would be more convenient for me, but I would be lying if I said I hadn't had ulterior motives." House makes eye contact with Luis, who tries his best not to squirm under his intense gaze. "I'm not an unobservant man Luis, I've seen the way you react around me. You aren't the first to be infatuated with me, far from it, but I must confess that you are the first that I feel like an equal to."

House looks more and more concerned the longer Luis stays silent. "If I've misinterpreted the situation somehow and overstepped the boundaries of our relationship, then I apologize."

"No, no, no," Luis says quickly. "It's not that. I'm just, uh, a little tiny bit surprised." He looks away for a moment and gives a short nervous laugh, "Surprised, but flattered."

"Good," House smirks. "I would have been terribly disappointed if I had been wrong. I meant what I said before, when I said you were my most valued employee."

"I'm glad you think so," Luis says, completely earnest.

"Well." House untucks the napkin from his collar and gently places it on his dirty plate. "If we're both done here I'd like to return to the Lucky 38. As delicious as the food is, the atmosphere of the Gourmand leaves a lot to be desired, and there are other features of this body I would like to test." He pauses, "To be clearer, I'm propositioning you."

Luis spits out his drink.


End file.
